I Love You, Honey! What did a German count and a Swiss coffee heir get up to?

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Retail is a scale game that lends itself to M&A. Never mind the recent, disastrous spell of Amazon brand consolidation. The real action has been happening out of the limelight, involving niche industries, and bankrolled by highly sophisticated, long-term investors. 

Like sexual wellness: a market worth a reported $23B - and growing 5% p.a. 

Today, we are bringing you the incredible story of Lovehoney Group - the self-styled “world’s leading sexual-wellbeing company”. 

If, for you, the phrase “sex toy retail” conjures the image of a dodgy bloke dealing out of a back alley, you could not be further from the truth. Lovehoney’s majority shareholder is Telemos - an investment vehicle controlled by Philippe Jacobs. Philippe is an offspring of the Jacobs family, the coffee-and-chocolate dynasty based in Switzerland. Lovehoney’s CEO is Johannes Plettenberg. Or, to be precise, Graf Von Plettenberg. 

Lovehoney Group is a combo of two rollups. Outside-in, it has a fiendishly complex corporate structure with companies in Luxembourg, Jersey, England and Germany. Don’t worry: we have broken it down for you!

Let’s dig in. In this article, we will cover:

• Lovehoney’s origins: from 0 to $1B+ valuation

• How Lovehoney has structured acquisitions - and itself

• Why “sexual wellness” is a cure for business blues

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